Captain A Hairball

Yarrgh...you there. Be ye looking for the white squirrel? Aye, I be Captain Ahairball and I be chasing that beast meself for many a year. It all started when...well, that's not important right now. I haven't seen that beast in a while, but I do have a matey who may know something. Calm down, buckaroo. First, I need to know ye can be trusted.

You can trust me!

I'm not sure....